missing in action

I appreciate those of you who have written me and asked me if everything is OK. Yeah, we’re stumbling along. 🙂 I’ve just been too busy living life to write about it.

One of the main reasons is that we have a new foster daughter. She arrived at the end of February and even though we are loving her to death, anytime a child comes into the home, it does sort of make every child shift a bit. “Where do I sit at the table now, or where do I sit to watch a movie now that she has taken my favorite chair?” Those are the conscious thoughts the children express. The unconscious ones are:
“If I act much younger than my age will I get the same amount of attention she is getting? After all, she acts sort of babyish, so maybe I should too.”
“If I love her, will she just leave again like the other ones have? Do I risk falling in love with her only to have it hurt when she leaves?” I confess to feeling the latter myself, so I easily understand how the kids feel.

I will write more about our newest placement in the next few days. Right now I am exhausted and just want to go to bed. She cries out at night sometimes and is not content unless I go in and pat her back to help her go back to sleep. 3-4 times/night of this on some nights is making me rather weary, but it is the least I can do for a sweetheart who didn’t ask to be removed from her parents’ home.

She is a doll, is loads of fun, and has been a healing balm for some of my children’s hearts. Some who are uneasy with lots of physical affection love hugging and holding her.

It’s funny because when I wrote this, one of my worries was about having a child who was language delayed. Well, V. is quite language delayed as well. She understands most of what is said, but does not speak clearly herself and has a small expressive vocabulary. And yet, she is clearly meant to be here. She fits as if she has always been here and I realize had we accepted the other referral, we would never have received V. as an emergency placement. When we were being considered for some fost/adopt children, they took us off the list as a placement home for emergency placements.

It’s just one more small testimony to me of God’s awareness of what is best for our lives. He told me “not this one” about a child and it nearly tore my heart out, but had we accepted her, V. would not be in our home today.

We don’t know how long she will stay. It will depend on whether or not Mom and Dad follow their case plan, but for now the plan looks like at least 6 months. Will it kill us emotionally if she goes back home? Yes, but as foster parents we need to be supportive of birth family in whatever way we can as long as they are trying. In the meantime, we are enjoying playing with her, loving on her and just overall being blessed by her presence in our home.



Filed under Foster Care

2 responses to “missing in action

  1. Mary

    Glad you aren’t MIA anymore. Blogging has to take a backseat to real live children. 🙂 Still praying for you and yours.

  2. Pingback: The work God gives you « Seven angels, four kids, one family

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